Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Our daughter and son-in-law came through late last night with little Ethan. They are moving to Florida, which means they will be twice as far away as they were before. After a short night and a bit of Ethan-cuddling, my emotions were doing flip-flops. When my hubby held him and I took this photo, my heart nearly melted.
We're going to miss this little guy. Since he was born in March, I've personally made at least three trips to their home (4 hours away) and they've been in our home on three occasions. Plus, dear hubby and I have gone up together twice, so that means in his short life (3 months), we been blessed to cuddle and coo with our grandson on many occasions. I realize there are many grandparents who don't have this privilege, so I appreciate the blessing of knowing Ethan.
Every time we've said goodbye in the past, it felt like a part of my heart was left behind, still connected with this child's heart. He has always had such a grown-up look in his eyes, as if he understands everything I say to him. We've shared a lot of special moments, the two of us. I've walked and rocked him through those first few weeks after his birth when Mommy needed a bit of sleep. Most nights, he fell asleep on my tummy while I rested on the couch.
Now, a big chunk of my heart is moving eight hours south to Florida. I'm sure Ethan will change a lot before our next together-time. During our last moments together this morning, he gazed into my eyes and seemed to understand I was having a tough time disconnecting. In the past, he's grinned and chortled, but this morning, he had an almost wise look in his eyes ... a look that said, "It's going to be okay, Nana ... "
Forgive my pitiful post. I'm hurting, but I'm also happy for my kids. Do hurt and happy go together? I think so in this case. I'm hurting to say goodbye to them, but happy they have a lovely home to move into when their furniture is delivered. I'm also happy they will be closer to Ethan's other grandparents -- Nonny and Papa -- so they can love on him more often. They're precious people and Ethan needs to know them better.
So I have to grow up and get used to being a long-distance Nana. I shouldn't whine too much -- my own mother has been a long-distance Grandma to most of her grands and great-grands. She's handled it with grace, and I want to do that, too.
When our children were little, we lived 10 hours drive away, so I made it a point to send her and my Dad (who's now in heaven) audio tapes, video tapes and lots of cards and letters scribbled by little hands. Now it's my turn to be a long-distance Nana. Knowing our daughter, she'll be a good little scribe and make sure we keep up with our grandson's development.
While Florida is only (!) eight hours away, it seems much further somehow. Maybe because a part of my heart went out the door with little Ethan this morning. Okay, it's time to put on my little blue engine attitude -- I can do this. At least I think I can ... I think I can ... I think I can ...